Exploring Options = Increasing Opportunities

To do a quick summary, in previous posts we looked at how to set Goals in order to establish the 'destination' and we explored Reality to identify the 'starting point'. Now the time has come to discover the Options, or, in theme with the journey metaphor 'the different routes available'.

'We will find a way, or make one'- Hannibal. Although this quote is from a rather creepy film, it is one of my favourites. It perfectly represents the attitude that one should adopt when wanting to achieve a goal. 

In my opinion there is really no point wanting something if you are not prepared to try everything to get it.

Having said that, I also think that Generating Options is the stage of the Goal achieving process which is the most fun and exciting! The number of possibilities which are available to our Generation are endless, so all that is left to do is to start exploring the options and start increasing the opportunities!

Before you get started there are a number of key points you should keep in mind when thinking of your options:

• Options are Not decisions. The aim of exploring all your different options is to create a variety of possible alternatives which you could (not must) take. This stage is a bit like window shopping before buying or looking at the menu before ordering what you want to eat.
• Albert Einstein once said ' Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'. I think it is fair to say the man had a point....SO when thinking of your options don't be scared to try something new or something different, if what you have been doing so far hasn't worked there must be a reason! 
• Adopt different perspectives. People often limit themselves by looking at things from a single perspective. Instead, try adopting different points of view and you will find that this substantially increases the number of options on your list. 
• If you think of something, as crazy, unrealistic or silly as it sounds write it down. Remember, these are only possible alternatives not definite actions and often a crazy idea triggers another idea, which triggers another idea and before you know it you have found an option which is going to take you straight to your goal.

Pen and paper.........Answer these questions in relation to your goal

1. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

2. What would you do if you had no limitations? i.e. money, location, age, skills, confidence etc.

3. What would you do if you were a different person? i.e. someone you look up to and admire.

4. Make a list of all the things you are good at and which add value to you as a person. i.e. Talents, skills, knowledge, interests, attributes etc. How could you use the items on your list to help you reach your goal?

5. Think of a time when you achieved something that for you was challenging. How did you do that? and how can you use that experience to help you overcome this new challenge?

If you haven't been lazy or used the 'I'll do it another time' line, then by now, you should be well on your way to knowing what actions you need to take to reach your goal. Well done! now go and celebrate doing whatever it is that you do when you celebrate. Come on, off you go :)

Ready to Review Reality?

So you get to the stage where you know what you want and you have set yourself a Goal, (If you haven't done that, read previous post). What to do next??.....Well imagine this scenario. You have decide that you want to go on a trip, you have established your destination and you now need to find out how to get there. You go on google map and in order to get directions you are asked to enter two key pieces of information 1) your DESTINATION and 2) your CURRENT LOCATION.

The exact same information is required when trying to reach your goal. You need to know where you are going and you need to know what your starting point is. If either of these two factors are missing then the task of achieving what you want becomes extremely difficult.

Here are a number of questions which will help you review your reality and therefore identify your starting point...Once again grab pen and paper and write your answers down (please note, this can be done to review your current situation in general or in the specific area of your life in which you have set yourself a goal)

1. What is happening right now that tells you that you are not 100% satisfied?
2. What is missing from your current situation that would make you satisfied?
3. What positive things are happening now that you would like to maintain?

4. What actions have you taken so far to improve the situation?
5. How did taking these actions help you improve the situation?
6. What is stopping you from taking other actions which will help you to further improve the situation?

7. What resources do you already have which will help you achieve your goal?
8. What other resources do you need?
9. Having  answered these questions, is your initial goal still relevant? If not make the changes or adjustments to your goal now.

Now you will have a clear Goal + A clear Starting Point!!!  Take the time to read through your own thoughts and understand what they really mean to you. In the next post we will look at how to take it a step further and explore all your different options and believe me when I say they will be endless!

Back to Basics...........GOALS

We all admire and often envy successful individuals who have achieved what we dream of achieving. Some of us aspire to have more money, others to have the ideal job, others to have a perfect body or great relationships, yet for many people, unfortunately, 'aspirations' will often remain unrealised dreams.

What I have always found fascinating is the fact that most of the time, what we want to do, have or be are all things which have been accomplished by others time and time again. People have gone from poverty to wealth, from being unemployed to running successful businesses, from being overweight to running marathons, so what is it that differentiates Successes from Failures? Achievers from Settlers?

A famous study carried out at Yale University found that in 1953, just 3% of the graduating class had written down a set of goals of their lives. 20 Years later a survey of the same group revealed that the 'goal setting' students were financially worth more than the other 97% put together. This 3% also has better relationships and enjoyed better health. It wasn't the parental wealth, degree subjects taken, career selected, ethnic or gender base or any of the other obvious factors that made the difference. The factor that linked all these students was that they had all set clear goals.

This study clearly shows the power and effects of goal setting, yet most people will spend more time planning their outfit of the day or where to go out at the weekend than planning their lives.

On some level we subconsciously set ourselves goals every single day. For example if you are hungry, you will set yourself the goal to eat food. If you walk over to the fridge and it is empty, you will most likely proceed to raid the cupboards, go out to eat, order a take away etc. but you are unlikely to stop until you have reached your goal, or in this case until you have eaten.

When a goal is set, the brain is so efficient that it will direct its thoughts and strategies towards achieving it. However with no goals the brain has no direction or outcome to work towards, this means that you will live on other people's terms, doing things as a result of other people's decisions rather than your own.

So my question is, if we KNOW that we want more, if we have PROOF that setting goals is a first huge step toward having what we want AND if we know that goal setting is something that we easily do on a daily basis, how stupid is it not to do it for things that really matter to us?

By now I am sure you know where I am going with this.....Be smart and SET.YOURSELF.SOME.GOALS!

Lets start simple, think of an area of your life you would like to improve, then grab pen and paper and answer the following questions (and yes actually write this down, it makes a massive difference and I will explain why in the next post, but for now just trust me)

- What do you want? (Answer this using a statement which is directed towards what you want rather than away from what you don't want i.e. 'I want to have a job' rather than 'I don't want to be unemployed'.)
- How will you know when you have succeeded? (reached your goal)
- Where, when and with who do you want to achieve this goal?
- What resources do you need to help you achieve this goal? (i.e. skills, qualifications, contacts, objects, money..)
- What will happen if you don't achieve this goal?
- What will happen if you do achieve this goal?

Muhammad Ali once said 'what keeps me going is goals', he went on to become the first boxer to win lineal heavyweight championships three times and is considered to be one of the greatest heavyweight championship boxer of all time. Is it a coincidence that a goal setter = a success? I will let you decide.

You are a Coach?..... Oh cool so what sport do you teach?

So, the full conversation usually goes something like this
'' Hey Veronica, so what are you doing with yourself these days?"
 "Well I have qualified as a Coach/NLP practitioner and I am doing a Psychology degree at Uni, what about you"
"(the other person will tell me what they have been up to, followed by) oh so you are a coach, what sport are you coaching? and what is this LLP stuff?''

By this point I usually find myself explaining that I am a Personal Performance Coach not a sports coach, I explain that my job is to help people identify what they want to achieve in life or in a specific area of life i.e. health, career, personal development, relationships etc.

Now, considering this conversation 8 times out of 10, will take place in locations which make the act of conversing somewhat difficult i.e. a club, bar or some sort of social event (because yes, even geeks like me have a social life) I have had to learn to explain what I do as quickly and as easily as possible and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the result:

- I help people find out where they are now and where they want to be

and

- I facilitate the process of PLANNING and TAKING the steps to get from where they are now to where they want to be.

Now of course there is more to coaching than that, but usually those two simple statements get people interested.....

This is followed by me explaining that NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming (usually the fancy long word makes me sound surprisingly intelligent, because apparently being a girl who is into fashion and makeup AND has a brain is still a shocking revelation in the 21st century).

Anyway the reason for this ramble was to point out the fact that most people are not aware of what coaching and NLP are, even though it appears to be a topic which attracts a lot of interest. As a result I am going to make it my little mission to provide info by blogging and rambling about related topics. So if you are interested Watch this space....